Best Happy Hours in Town

Folks enjoying happy hour at Firehouse

Ah…the afternoon.  The coffee mug can finally be put away and the caffeine high you’ve worked to maintain through the morning can now be neglected. The workday is winding down along with your tolerance for sobriety, and only one thought has your mind’s attention: happy hour.

Yet after a long workday, the last thing anyone wants to do is blow their hard-earned moolah on a couple of drinks and appetizers – especially if happy hour is your tried and true bi- tri- or quad-weekly treat.

Don’t let the big, flashing signs fool you. Not every happy hour is created to bring a smile to your face. Yet there are some places that still honor this American afternoon tradition, welcoming in the herds of decaffeinated zombies who …just…want…a cheap …drink for heaven’s sake!!

I know and I understand. But most importantly, so do these happy hour hot spots sprinkled throughout San Diego.

Downtown’s La Puerta Mexperience

Can you hear it –the raucous crunch of fresh tortilla chips loaded with zesty guac and salsa? Can you taste the mouth-watering spice of a strawberry margarita? La Puerta on 4^th Avenue makes sure each guest can have a mexperience (a Latin term for orgasm of the mouth) of their own 3p.m.-7 p.m. Monday through Friday. We’re talking half-off all drinks and appetizers, including carne asada quesadillas chalked full of cheese, tacos, nachos, margaritas and more for four hours. Warning: a happy hour spent at La Puerta cause delusional thoughts of your ability to speak Spanish.

Downtown’s Taste and Thirst

Sorta new to the whole downtown scene, Taste and Thirst is like the new kid in class who hasn’t figured out the politics of the popular kids. Unlike so many of its neighbors, Taste and Thirst doesn’t bloat its prices with bull, nor pretend a pretentious air in efforts to appease what many downtown bars consider the status quo. Taste and Thirst is just plain cool. Every night from 3 p.m.-8 p.m. all drinks are two-for-one, Mondays have .50 cent wings during games and Tuesday you’ll find T-bone steaks, mash potatoes, veggies and beer to be 9.99. Taste and Thirst is as cool as they come.

Uptown’s Baja Betty’s

Baja Betty’s is FAB-YA-LUS!! Located in the ever-racing heart of Hillcrest, Baja Betty’s has a fantastic décor that will make you forget your cramped cubicle and crappy boss. Betty’s ambiance greets you with a big bosomed hug and offers her menu of $3 margaritas, sangria, wells and wine, appetizers and quesadillas – all yours for the taking. Monday through Friday, 2 p.m. to 6 p.m. you are allowed to drown your stress, frustration and total lack of motivation in delicious tequila and sangria for the price of a two packs of gum.

Pacific Beach’s Firehouse

Only in Pacific Beach will you hear the accent of San Diego. Many people don’t think we San Diegans have an accent, but oh, we do. For some exemplar audio, imagine a blond, messy haired surfer in flip flops with a killer tan saying, “Dude bro – I could totally go for a gnarly happy hour right now.”

Yes. That’s it. For more interaction with these accented-locals, check out Firehouse’s various happy hours every day, 4 p.m to close – yes to close. Everyday is different, but most days there will be $3 wells and beers, Tuesday there are “fiddy” cent ribs, and Wednesday has $1 oysters. Dude, Firehouse is totally friggin awesome. Totally.

East Country – I mean County’s – Hooley’s Irish Pub and Grill

Yeah I said it. All joking aside – Hooley’s has two superb, cherry-wooded and sexy masculine-themed bars – one in La Mesa and one in Rancho San Diego. This a man’s man’s happy hour, $1.50 off draught beers and $3 off appetizers. Here the beers are as thick as the testosterone wafting throughout the bar. Mmmmm….can you smell it, ladies? Thankfully the only requirement at Hooley’s is thick skin and not a thick wallet.

North County’s Tango

The term “happy hour” was coined when the owners of Tango lowered prices and left all their guests beaming with Cheshire grins for over one month. Not really, but the prices are so good at Tango’s – its deserving of an exaggerated story. We’re talking Monday through Saturday 4 p.m. to 7 p.m. 50 percent off the menu and drinks. No kidding. Monday’s happy hours lasts till the places closes and Taco Tuesday is terrific with $2 fish tacos and margaritas. Just try to keep the drooling smiles, bellyful laughter and insuppressible joy to yourself.